Baseball
by Lovely Spell
Summary: Iruka recalls how he hit his 3 strikes with Kakashi, but is he out? Humorous. I swear you'll laugh at some point. University setting. IrukaxKakashi OOC AU oneshot COMPLETE


This was my first time writing something like this I hope you enjoy it. 

Beta: Mysterylady-tx

* * *

This is what happened.

"Why him? Out of all of the fools walking around here, I, the average of the average, had to fall in love with him, the god, the king, the ruler of our school, Hatake Kakashi. What am I thinking? I met him up close just once. That's when I first really noticed him. I had a klutz moment just as I was leaving school. I was walking with my hands full of books and my shoe laces untied. I tripped down the steps and my books went flying everywhere. There I was picking up all of my stuff and he, for once not surrounded by a multitude of girls, stopped to help me. It was quick and he said 'be more careful next time.' as he handed me my stuff. Then he winked. All I could do was smile and nod like an idiot, the true idiot that I am to like that man. I'm really not gay, but his smile, even if it is covered most of the time" Insert my dreamy sigh here. "it just brings warmth to me. Ahhh! What is wrong with me, seriously?"

"Okay, so I haven't been completely honest with you. More has happened between us. I'll tell you the reason I'm in here, hiding. Just 2 weeks ago I caught him alone in the bathroom."

"Strike One: Standing next to a man at a urinal with a giant smile on your face doesn't usually get a good response."

"As more people entered the bathroom he shot me this 'I'm-gonna-kill-you-if-you-keep-smiling' glare. At that point I blushed and made the situation even worse because smiling and blushing while there are plenty of men around you, naked and going to the bathroom will most of the time get your ass kicked. So, after about 10 minutes, and after everyone had left the bathroom, I retrieved my stuff from the toilet. I also tried to clean up the bruises on my face from punches I'd gotten. Must be pretty fun to not be the loser of the losers I'd say, but this isn't exactly why I'm hiding either. Yes, I know. There's more."

"So, that was then. You see me and him, we have a class together, anatomy. Really I shouldn't have to say more, but for your sake I will. Finals were here. Projects began last week. So, the professor decided to assign it in groups of two. I know. I know. I got a great chance. I really did. Randomly selected by the devil himself it was me and him, group 3. So, what did we have to do you ask? No, you don't ask? Well, I'm telling you anyways. We had to build a replica of the inside and outside of the male reproductive organs. Not too hard right? _Wrong_. When working with me and things like this I, well, I blush and laugh uncontrollably. I have no clue why, but I'm naturally a shy guy. So, he said lets do it at my house. I agreed. We only had three days to turn it in and being the rich boy that he is I was sure the project would be better off at his house than at my shack."

"First day: It went pretty well. We did research and printed model pictures. All of that wasn't hard. Then we picked the materials. I must confess he's a funny guy. We had fun. I didn't screw anything up (at least I hadn't, yet.). So, we did the first half of the project. Together we molded the inside structures of the testicles and penis. Not too difficult. I got the painting done rather quickly. It was left to dry overnight and finally I went home."

"Day two: We had to mold the outside structure. We couldn't really decided what to make it out of. I suggested a cast model. To do that we both knew you had to fill a cast of the original first. So, not too bad right? All we had to do was dip, fill, and leave to set. Ok so here's how my brain works. 'Hey, maybe I can sneak a peek. I should help him make the cast. It seems normal I mean it is for the project after all.' _Dead _w_rong_."

"Strike Two: Asking a man permission to personally cast his penis doesn't usually work out for the best."

"After spitting, well more like spraying, his drink all over me and staring wide-eyed, for what seemed like decades to me, I ran out of the house completely red-faced."

"I saw him again in class. Up until then we hadn't really talked you know. The occasional 'did you print this', 'are you thirsty', 'colors and paints are over here' isn't talking. Really, its like he didn't wanna know a thing about me. I, on the other hand, was dying to hear every word he had to say. I was like a dry desert waiting for the rain, but for once I had some self control and kept my words inside. You think this is over? Not really, we also had to present this project and explain it to the class. Somehow, he managed to finish it up rather well without me. It was our turn to present and there I was standing with a goofy smile next to the most attractive person I'd ever met."

"We'd divided the job between the two of us; I was in charge of the outside information, and he'd tell the class about the inside mechanisms. Everything went _smoothly_. Until I- I how do I say this? I had just made it to the end of my note cards and it was time for questions. There was only one question. Directed at me. 'What is it made out of?' obviously talking about our sculptures. I nervously answered that they were made out of clay, paper, glue and named the rest of the materials. I didn't mess up. Until I noticed that while naming the stuff we'd used I'd been pumping the outer penis. I felt my face burst with blood. Just then one of the students asked 'Like it? Is it firm Iruka?' I hadn't heard the first part, well I said 'Yes very.'. I don't know what's wrong with me! I just talk and talk and talk and then I think later. Its not that I'm embarrassed or nervous in front of him. Its just how I am. I'm very confident in school but my self-esteem is rather low. It comes with being a reject. So that statement didn't click into my head until the classroom erupted in laughter. I know I'm a dork, and yet this isn't the worst. This isn't the reason why I'm hiding in the sports storage room. Yes, there's more."

"Okay today was a nice day. Its the day of our school's fall festival. Being involved with school activities is something I love-- loved. I was given the job to crown the king and queen. Ballots had been handed out through out the school a week in advance. I knew the winner. You know the winner. I don't even know why the ballots were passed out. Well, everything went really well. All the booths made money and everyone had fun. Families were there with their kids. _Everyone_ was there. It was time. They called out the queen. I crowned her and shook her hand. I was a bit jealous of her, not because I wanted to be queen, but because our school tradition is for the queen and king to kiss before the fireworks are started and the night dance begins. Usually a kiss on the cheek or a quick one on the lips is all that's required. Still I wanted that kiss. Are you starting to get the picture? No, I didn't! Yeah, yeah I did."

"Strike Three: Don't ever kiss a straight man in front of a crowd. Especially if you aren't the crowned queen."

"They called the king up. He made his way to center stage,a giant beam of light on me and him as I was crowning him. I shook his hand. For some reason I didn't release it. Just then the announcer called out 'Now lets see a kiss!'. _Oh God what is wrong with me?!_ I did it. I pulled him in and kissed his lips. Not only that I kinda-- maybe I tongued him a little. Okay, so I tried to swallow him. I'll die now. I couldn't seem to stop myself. It wasn't until I heard all the gasps and screams, oh yeah and the hard thuds from the falls of the few people that had fainted, that I peeled myself off of him. I wanted to die. I ran off the stage. Nobody moved or came after me. I flung myself into the first open door I found which was this storage room. Now here I am, ashamed, alone, and aroused. Oh don't forget I'm telling my lame story to a soccer ball." Light pierced the dark room.

"Oh no soccer ball, hide!" The door opened slowly revealing the last person I wanted to see.

"Iruka, are you in here?"

"I'm here." It was him. For once I didn't freak out. I just offered him an honest apology. "I'm really sorry." He kneeled next to me until his eyes met mine. I didn't know what to expect. He got closer and whispered near my ear. "Safe." then moved back away and kissed me. He kissed me. It was better than my sloppy attack. It was passionate and neat. It was warm and mutual. Then he pressed his forehead against mine and said

"Homerun."


End file.
